I've felt tender this week
“There is gold on the other side of our wounds — but we don’t find it by turning away. We find it by walking, honestly and tenderly, through the fire."
- Nicole Barton
I've felt tender this week
Tired. Like there’s something quietly aching beneath the surface that just wants to be seen and loved.
Not for attention, nor for fixing. But because truth, when spoken honestly, becomes a mirror. And I know I’m not the only one feeling it at the moment...
There have been waves of grief moving through me for months now - some loud and dramatic, crashing hard.
Some small and silent, looking like nothing on the surface, but leaving me gasping underneath. The remedy of Archetypal Sea Salt in action.
Big initiations have been happening in all areas of life.
And today, I just needed to name it - with rawness and truth.
Because we’re not taught, in our culture, to look into the wound and *feel* - or that doing so is what allows us to taste and experience the raw, honest, full-spectrum beauty of life. Yet I know that's the truth.
Instead, we’re taught that darkness and fear are stop signs.
That they mean we’ve done something "wrong," or that we should turn back, stay small, and close our hearts.
But the remedy is in our turning inwards. Gently. Tenderly. Softly. Without moving to change or fix. Letting what is, be - softening into what’s present.
Not avoiding.
Not rushing to alchemise.
But getting more and more *intimate* with what life is offering in this moment.
Letting grief speak. Letting her mystery shape us. Asking the deeper questions - not just "what’s happening to me?", or "why do I have to feel this way?"
- but "what is this *showing* me of myself?"
Where am I being called to love myself back home and remember my wholeness?
This is the healer witch’s path.
And honestly, it’s not easy at times.
There are days I want to numb.
To plaster over it.
To hide.
To stay in the safety of the Secret Witch.
To close my heart.
To stay in fear.
But I’m proud of myself for having learned to hold myself in this pain - whilst also receiving the loving support of those around me, including family, guides and soul sisters.
Most especially, I’m proud of us - as a family - for how we’ve met (and continue to meet) the almighty challenges of this year.
For how we’ve honoured our feelings, our needs, our boundaries, and our vision.
For how we’ve risen through it all.
Because there has been major gold collected along the way. There’s always gold on the other side of our wounds.
And we claim it - not by avoiding, but by walking, honestly, tenderly *through* the fire.
So, for today... I’m just being here. In the grief that’s still alive. Letting the waves move through, letting this be enough.
Because this - this is medicine too.
I love you, beauties.♥️
Nicole x
